Intimacy: Chapter 9

Building Intimacies

We’ve been discussing ways to create intimacy in marriage. Weiss teaches that many marriages lack the structure to encourage intimacy and are ill-equipped and often disappointed when our spouses don’t meet our needs.  The following are key points Weiss teaches.

  • Passion begins to falter when our priorities are out of alignment. “Passion is a dividend of consistent investments made into a relationship.” (153)
  • We must  “make” time to be together after we are married just like we did when we dated. During the dating process we are literally ‘selling’ each other on the idea of being married so we do whatever is necessary to make sure it happens. Somehow, after marriage, many people put their relationship at the bottom of the schedule. This is a recipe for failure.
  • You cannot get passion back into your marriage without making your relationship a priority

Weiss teaches three ways to place priorities back in marriage. I recommend that you read and plan to do them.

  • Praying with spouse daily.
  • Sharing your feelings daily (Note: This is not about sharing why your spouse is getting on your nerves or how they are hurting you. This is about helping your spouse know how you feel about things in general. For everyone who just got ‘skerd’ don’t worry- he gives examples on how to do this.)
  • Praise and nurture your spouse daily.  Because words of affirmation is my primary love language I know just how important it is to hear from your spouse daily words that nurture my soul.

This begins the 100 days to intimacy.  Weiss challenges us to commit to do these three disciplines daily for 100 days and see God work!

Happy travels!


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