Chapter 7: Money Matters

This chapter really gets at the ways that husbands and wives communicate about finances. It sparked very interesting …. conversation… in our class. The writer details three developmental stages for money management: financial child, financial adolescent and financial adult. There was a lot of discussion about the pressure on the spouse who does the finances if the other person chooses to turn a deaf ear or be totally uninvolved. You really ought to read this chapter! As always, it is important that we look at our own behaviors rather than our spouses. And how difficult is that!

This chapter is basically a workbook that helps couples understand their own identities regarding finances and to come into agreement about the way money is handled. Amos 3:3 says “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Since many couples never come into agreement (or even discuss) the ways they are going to use money, is there any wonder that finances is one of the greatest stumbling blocks in marriage?? As a person who has been married for over 26 years and part of a couple for whom finances have been a major battle ground, I can tell you that it is critical that we stop letting the enemy have even a toe-hole! We honor God with respective and thoughtful use of our finances. And that takes BOTH partners and requires that both move into financial adulthood.

What does finances have to do with intimacy, you ask? I’m glad you did. It has everything to do with intimacy. How can you expect to have soul intimacy (including physical intimacy) when the lack of agreement about finances may be the cause of pain, anxiety, fear, and frustration? We learned early in this study that we start our journey to intimacy with a strong relationship with God. God is just as interested in how we use our money as God is about how we use our bodies. If you don’t believe me, count the numbers of time money is mentioned in the scriptures!

God bless.

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3 Responses

  1. Another part of the problem is that we wait until we’re married to try and figure the money thing out. How often is money and its management part of the pre-marital counseling process; and I mean in a significant way! My sister got married w/o the understanding of her husband’s finances. The result is that her previously significant savings have been spent keeping her husband (and therefore herself) afloat. Know what you’re getting into before you dive….make sure there is water in the pool!

    Know what your credit and potential spouce’s credit looks like. Know each other’s financial goals. Know whether one of you is a saver and the other a spender. Set goals before you say ‘I do’.

    Sound unromantic? Not anymore unromantic than bankruptcy, forclosure, arguments, frustration or divorce.

  2. That’s the truth. I like that comment ‘the money got ta get married too!’ I’ll pass it on to the class.

  3. When we are single, we spend as we want. We do as want. We come into marriages with “Single Money”. Many times, our problem is that our money never “marries”…it remains “Single Money” with a married couple. To strengthen marriages, and all the good things that come with it…trust, intimacy, our relationship with God and all the other great things that you mention above… The money got ta get married too!

    It DOES take both partners to get involved. Neither has to be a financial genious– just interested in the stewardship of God’s/his/her’s collective money.

    Wish that I was there for the interesting conversation with the class.

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