Lesson One: Spiritual Intimacy


The lesson this week is about spiritual intimacy.

Men and women are in pursuit of intimacy but we often start from the wrong point. Stereotypically, men pursue physical intimacy while women pursue emotional intimacy in search of a happy and fulfilled marriage. We know that both physical and emotional intimacy are critical elements in a strong marriage. However, if we are to ever achieve lasting intimacy in those areas, we have to back it up a notch. Spiritual intimacy is the key that unlocks the door to the other two and it is the glue that holds them together. Achieving spiritual intimacy in our marriages requires a two-fold commitment. First, we have to be personally committed to an intimate relationship with God through the person of Jesus Christ. God loves each of us so much that God was willing to sacrifice God’s only son to demonstrate that love. And that sacrifice came even though we were not ‘worthy.’ Second, we have to be committed, as couples, to intimacy with Jesus.


If you imagine the spouses’ relationship with God and with each other in terms of a triangle, you can easily see the importance of God to the marriage. As both the husband and wife work to develop their relationship with God, they actually move closer to each other in the process and the triangle (relationship) remains stable. However, if one person develops a closer relationship with God than the other does, the triangle (relationship) becomes unstable.  Ps. 127:1 says ‘unless the Lord builds a house, its builders labor in vain.’ It is critical that intimacy with God through Christ be the foundation for marriage. When that occurs, God builds the marriage on a firm, stable foundation!

Our first step towards a more fulfilling, intimate relationship with our spouses starts with our living, breathing connection to Christ. It is important that we understand that developing the deepest intimacy is a journey, one that requires commitment and dedication!

Our destination = deepest intimacy

scenery = mountains and valleys. Sometimes we will get it right and sometimes we won’t. Sometimes things will be beautiful and sometimes we will feel a bit discouraged. But, if we stay committed to the journey we will arrive at the destination.

How long will the journey take? – the rest of our lives! There is always more to learn about God. There is always more to learn about the person to whom we are married. That makes things interesting.

We are starting this journey from different points. Let me shift metaphors for a moment. Some couples are standing on the beach, looking at the water. Other couples have their feet in the water. Still others are in waist deep. Some of the fortunate ones are already nearly neck deep.  Yet, each couple has something in common. No matter how deep their intimacy is right now, at the beginning of this journey, THEY CAN STILL GO DEEPER.

So, don’t be discouraged if you’re starting on the beach instead of in the water. Be honest with yourself and God about where you are. Commit to the journey and start walking! And trust that God is going to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that you could ever imagine!

Enjoy the trip.


One Response

  1. ok I get what u r saying but put it literal terms for me…. what does that look like especially in the midst of life’s busyness???

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: